I know it’s hard to believe but sometimes, I get in fights with people. Or more accurately, I get mad at them and steam silently. I know, super helpful.
One thing I’ve learned in my travels is about the five love languages: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
If you go on this site, there is a short quiz (30ish questions) that’ll tell you what ways you best appreciate having love expressed to you.
Think mine is ‘words of affirmation’? Nope, it’s ‘quality time’ followed by ‘physical affection’.
So if I’ve ever spent some quality time with you or if I’ve ever hugged you, that was me speaking my love language. (I am not at all a touchy feely person unless I am super comfortable with someone so if I haven’t hugged you yet, don’t be offended! I like to respect people’s space as a general rule.)
The idea is if you know the love language of your partner, your friend, or even your coworker, you can give them what they need to feel valued, appreciated, and, well, loved.
Sometimes we don’t feel the love from someone because they are doing what they think is a great job at expressing their love and appreciation… but if the person on the receiving end doesn’t understand what’s going on, they might not assign much value to it.
Now if you go to that website, of course there is a book, course materials, and other things but I think you can go there and not even have to buy a thing. Just take the quiz and get some of your favorite people to do the same. I bet you’ll be understanding their language sooner than you think once you do.