I once got in trouble for using the word ‘schmooze’ in a work email. The person who saw it thought I meant it as derogatory. To the contrary, socializing with a purpose is something I actually like to do. I once talked to a French woman in a restaurant en français for two hours about the health care system in the US versus Europe. I have talked about Precambrian sand dunes in the American west at a bar at 1 am, I made a friend on a plane who I haven’t seen since but I am friends with to this day. I will talk to anyone for any period of time about anything.

My friends think I am a little crazy.

But even sometimes a chatterbox like me isn’t ‘feeling it’ so I’ve developed some schmoozing tricks to get through those events you just have to go to. Here’s what I do to make those Chamber of Commerce Business After Hours or fundraising gala events go well:

1) I check my watch when I go in. I make myself stay at least an hour no matter what. I have no doubt put on makeup and a cute outfit so the least I can do is let people see me for a bit.
2) I turn it the event into a mini scavenger hunt. Example: Talk to five people but… they all have to be wearing different shirt colors. Make the hors d’oeuvre server laugh. Work the word ‘discombobulated’ into conversation five times. This makes my interactions random and keeps me from being sucked into one conversation. Also this is great for goal oriented types, which I like to consider myself being.
3) Warm up your schmoozing skills with the people by the food. They are usually the most shy and uncomfortable at these events so if you seem just a little more comfortable then they are, they’ll talk to you, and gladly.  And you have a natural icebreaker: a comment on the food or drink. “Wow, I love this pate kind of stuff! Do you think it’s salmon?” or “I’m considering my options here, which wine are you drinking?”
4) Pull in someone you know into your conversation for an introduction. This makes you learn the person’s name you just met and makes you seem cool and connected.
5) Don’t sell. Be interested in what other people are doing and what their businesses are. Pretend you are Terry Gross and ask them interesting open-ended questions in a personal tone. “How did you get from business development to farming?” or “I hear you are good friends with so-and-so. Are you planning on working on any projects together coming up?”  Unless they are completely self absorbed jerkfaces, the conversation will eventually come around to you. Plus the person will appreciate your interest and you’ll likely learn something.
6) The more you do this, the easier it is. There is no way around practice. Make yourself go to one event a month. Like exercise or going to see that high maintenance relative, this is good for you even if slightly painful at times.

Remember other people are there for the same reasons you are: meet new people, learn what’s going on, and otherwise show their faces. You aren’t being filmed or scored by judges so relax and just do it. Eventually you too will get in a fun, in-depth conversation about economic development with a stranger over a margarita without even realizing it. Ready, set, schmooze!

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